What’s this I’m feeling in me?

How’d I get this way?

 

Trying to figure out if this real…

 

If you ever saw through me
I’d never be the same.

True Emotions

He was there again; peeked through the shelves of books to spot a diligent figure concentrating on a dark green notebook.

She was there again; Tezuka Kunimitsu looked up from his notebook, catching a glimpse of the girl who seemed to be peering at him.

“He saw me!” The girl frantically fitted the books in her hands into the shelves. Nope, she wasn’t glancing at Tezuka, she was just an innocent and ordinary librarian~!

That earned a cynical look from the captain of the tennis team, coughed a little, and the boy returned to his notes.

+++

wasn’t sure if this was what they called love, but she quite liked the feeling of a bittersweet, one-sided love. She guessed that was the kind of feeling she was experiencing for the brown-haired boy now, and who knows maybe she’d prefer a mellow, mutual relationship instead?

Tezuka remembered her. It was only natural; he caught her looking over occasionally when she was doing her librarian duties. Usually, he’d put off someone who was so undedicated, but somehow, he didn’t feel irritated at her or her gaze. In fact, he was happy (deep down, he does not show on his face) that he could catch a glimpse of the girl too.

He had noticed her before, all before those glances came. And even with those purposeful glances, he could tell that she was still that hardworking girl that he had observed from before. She was always careful with the books, and she meticulously placed them into their shelves, and then arranged them neatly. After she was done with a stack of books, she would give a little satisfied smile.

Occasionally when she dropped a book, she would get totally flustered and knelt down to pick it up. Strangely, she would mouth a soft apology to the book, which made Tezuka a little amused inside.

Tezuka was very careful though. And the girl never knew that there was someone watching her little movements.

+++

Gradually he realized that he came to the library whenever he was free, not to browse at books, but to observe the girl. He was happy of the little surprises that had for him every time.

And one day, he thought, and wondered if he would possibly be in love? He wouldn’t know, would he? He had never had this kind of feelings. He guessed for now, he was indeed in love with .

+++

Days passed, and then months. No one took action. The two just looked at each other quietly, through the bookshelves, sometimes giving each other a nod and a tiny smile.

was actually pretty contented at what she and Tezuka were sharing now, the silent exchanges. At least he knew of her existence.

+++

Tezuka’s teammates weren’t that pleased though. It seemed that Tezuka had been visiting the library so much that he was late for afternoon practices.

Well, he wasn’t very late, just a few minutes or so, but he was usually the earliest to arrive after Oishi.

The regulars were worried.

So… they decided to visit the library and they found out…

…all about

+++

Fuji Syusuke sat down quietly by his captain, not making a sound. Tezuka was a vigilant person, he would have noticed that, but, he did not.

“So, what are you looking at?” Fuji whispered against Tezuka’s left ear.

The boy felt a chill down his spine as he turned his face towards the smiling tensai. “Nothing,” he responded as stoic as ever.

“Guess you’re looking at her?” the blue-eyed boy said, looking in ’s direction.

Tezuka gave a slight sigh, “Fuji, do you know what is love about?”

Fuji was a little taken aback by what his buchou had just asked. It was a little funny that this came out from the ever-serious captain.

“You know, I think love comes in different forms. And I think what you’re feeling now is love. It’s a true emotion,” the boy answered, grasping the other’s shoulder for a moment and then left.

Tezuka glanced over at the girl, their eyes meet again, and she blushed like she usually did.

herself had realized that she was in love too.

+++

Now, the bookshelves, anyway, were pretty old ones. They were made of the best woods, but as years passed, they grew weak. The really bad ones were replaced by the metal ones, and the better ones were left alone.

But not for long…

As per normal was arranging books again, on the metal one, and unfortunately someone had bumped rather violently on the wooden bookshelf behind her.

Tezuka knew what would happen next, he got onto his feet, and paced forward.

The books cascaded down the shelf and they looked as though they were about to attack , all at the same time.

The wooden shelf moved itself forward as well.

let out a gasp. She had no time to run. Her first reaction was to cover her head with her petite hands.

Tezuka, with a swift move, grabbed from the back, intertwining their hands and shielded her small build with his height and make.

He could feel the books hitting him, and he was thankful that there were no dictionaries or thick books on that shelf.

Fortunately, the wooden shelf stopped falling as it was held by the metal shelf in front.

The boy carefully guided the girl out of the ruins.

+++

He felt his shoulder work up; it was that old wound again. Using his other hand, he grasped it tightly, hoping to alleviate the pain.

“Tezuka-san…?” the girl questioned worryingly as she knelt down. She looked at the boy who was still holding on to her hand.

+++

“ -san, are you feeling okay?” the boy spoke as he sat down on the chair in the sick bay. The nurse was checking his left arm now. He had his right hands interlocked with ’s.

“I’m fine. You protected me, remember? What are you thinking? Asking me this… Or rather, are you all right?” she asked with anxiety, and a little teasingly.

“Oh! Hey! Wait! You know my name?!” said, stunned at the realization.

“You know mine too, -san, don’t be so shocked,” the boy replied calmly.

Could it be that we both share that same feeling?

“Tezuka-san…”

“You can drop the –san,”

“Tezuka… Well… I… have been watching you from afar…

“…and I’ve come to realize that… I’m… in… in…”

“Love…?” Tezuka cut in.

’s face flushed a crimson red, and she nodded.

He touched her hands softly, and proceeded to hold it. Tezuka’s fingers grabbed on a little tighter.

The two hands joined.

“This is my answer…” he said softly by her ears.

Things will never be the same…

//Summer. 6^th June ’06.

A/N: Anyway, did anyone suspect that it was Momo who hit the bookshelf? It was instigated by the other regulars as well~ I wanted to add it in the story, but couldn’t find somewhere to put it! XD