Do you remember?
The days when we used to run happily together.
The days when we used to smile together.
The days when we used to stare at the stars together.
Do you remember those days?
I can hear the sound of your laughter.
The sound of our laughter.
They blend together in harmony.
Those sounds I still hear.
Even the sound of your voice.
‘ -chan.’
I turn around.
Hearing a voice.
Hearing your voice.
But you are not there.
I sit upon the cold metal of the monkey bars.
Taking in the surroundings and letting the memories flood back.
We used to play here.
Staring up at the sky.
In this warm summer night.
‘ -chan. -chan.’
‘Do you see those groups of stars together?’
‘If we ever get lost,’
‘Just look up there.’
You said those words to me on a summer night like this.
I believed you.
I look for our group of stars.
Why am I still lost?
Are you looking at what I am looking at?
Do you ever feel lost?
As lost as I am?
Do you even remember?
As evening sets in,
the voice of a child appears and fades away.
I wonder if, far, far away, you are somewhere under this sky.
At the end of summer,
the two of us snuck away at this park,
discovered this constellation.
Do you remember it?
The sounds of children’s laughter.
The sound of happiness.
These are to be expected.
This summer festival.
The childish giggles.
The sound of those drums.
I walk around.
The clip in my hair.
The same one that you gave me.
At this festival many summers ago.
“ -neesan! Look!”
“Waaa~ They are so pretty!”
“Oh, look! There goes another one!”
‘Yuushi-kun, do not run so fast!’
‘If we don’t hurry up, we won’t be able to see them.’
‘See what?’
I look up to see the many colours.
Exploding in the sky.
Painting the dark sky like a canvas.
The fireworks that bloom and shower lights.
I still remember the smell.
I still remember the sound.
I still remember the happiness.
I still remember those days.
When we were together.
Do you?
Even though we can't be together,
I can follow the memories;
I want to experience that same happiness;
that fragrance together with the 'bang' of fireworks.
Are you happy where you are now?
In Tokyo?
I remember the days of us in Osaka.
The many laughs we laughed.
The many sights we saw.
The many memories we shared.
The group of stars we look up to on those dark nights.
I wish to be with you.
Not lost.
To be there.
I want to find a way.
To be by your side.
I want to run there.
Speed past any obstacles.
To be with you.
I am blinded.
By darkness.
By fear.
By the past.
The grass underneath me.
The starry sky above me.
It is still as beautiful.
I look to my side.
Expecting to see you there.
But all I see if a memory of you.
‘Yuushi-kun, isn’t the sky pretty?’
‘The stars sparkle!’
‘I can see that, -chan.’
‘Will the sky stay like this forever, Yuushi-kun?’
‘Who knows, -chan?’
‘Who knows?’
I want to go to that place where you are;
I want to run there right now.
In this pitch black darkness, I can't see anything;
but even if it's scary, I'll be fine.
The vast starry sky has always been there, even now.
Because this was the beautiful sky I gazed upon long ago with you,
I won't cry.
I walk around.
In this umber colour sky.
The sun about to set.
I hear footsteps.
Running.
“Kazuko-chan! Let’s
go play on the swings!”
“Ok, Takumi-kun!”
I turned around.
Hearing the sound of the footsteps disappear into the distance.
That used to be us.
Our quiet footsteps off-rhythm to each other.
Our small shadows intertwined.
Now.
There is only I.
One quiet footstep.
One large shadow.
I am alone.
For you are not here.
In my ears resounds the sound of shoes on the road;
perhaps stare at my large shadow.
This swelling, painful feeling hasn't changed at all.
No matter how much I think about it;
you're not here.
Did you realize my true feelings?
Were they obvious?
I did not want to be lonely.
Did not want to be sad.
Did not want to be small.
I sit upon the cold metal of the monkey bars once more.
Taking in the surroundings and letting the memories flood back.
We used to wish here.
‘Yuushi-kun!’
‘That was a shooting star!’
‘Did you see that?’
‘Did you?’
‘I did, -chan.’
‘Did you know you can make a wish upon them?’
‘And they will come true?’
‘Really, Yuushi-kun?’
‘Wow! I am going to make a wish right now!’
Did you know what I wished for?
I wished for me to be with you forever.
I later found out not all wishes are granted.
Why do I keep wishing then?
Is it because I do not want to be lonely anymore?
Maybe I am selfish?
Is it because I miss you?
I clasp my hands together.
And I made a wish upon a shooting star.
I know it may not come true.
But I wish anyways.
I hope to be near you.
Once more.
Do you ever wish for that also?
To be with me again?
I want to go and be beside you;
even though you are a very, very small star.
I love you more than anything and wish I can be strong.
To a shooting star,
I softly utter a wish.
I won't cry;
perhaps my wish will reach that beautiful sky.
Another summer passes.
And the fireworks go off once more.
I would count the many summers.
I would count the many stars that soar by.
I would count the many fireworks that paint the sky.
But those would make me want to be with you more.
I want to be happy with you again.
To smile with you again.
To laugh with you again.
To wish with you again.
I want to be with you again.
Do the stars show how separated we are?
Do they show how small we are?
Do they reveal how lost we are?
Do they open our eyes and show that we are not to be together?
Even though we can't be together,
I can follow the memories;
I want to experience that same happiness;
that fragrance together with the 'bang' of fireworks.
I sit upon the cold metal of the monkey bars once more.
Taking in the surroundings and letting the memories flood back.
We used to be together here.
I stare up at the sky.
And I wonder where you are at this moment.
What you can be thinking of.
How you can be feeling.
Are you as lost as I am?
I remember the times where there would be silence.
Just us.
And the star covered sky.
I remember the times where there would be laughter.
Just us.
And the star covered sky.
Now.
I remember the times where there would be loneliness.
Just myself.
And the star covered sky.
As each shooting star flies across the sky.
I make a wish.
Clasping my hands together.
Closing my eyes.
Like we used to do.
I know these wishes may not come true.
I am naďve to think they will.
But I wish anyways.
I wish to see your smile.
I wish to hear your words.
I wish to hold your hand.
I wish to be by your side.
If only these shooting stars could be my messenger.
If only my prayers would reach the sky.
If only my words can be heard.
If only my feelings would be known.
If only they would find their way to you.
I want to go to that place where you are
and firmly grasp your small hand.
I want to cry;
that was such-such a beautiful sky.
To a shooting star,
I softly uttered a wish.
I want to cry for my thoughts won't reach up to this sky...
Authors notes:
I have decided to stick with type of writing style. It seems different than the others on the site. Very distinctive, even.
“Planetarium”, sung by Ai Otsuka, was the song used in this Dream Novel. Since I loved this song so much, I decided to write a Dream Novel for it.
I hope you liked this Dream Novel, even if it is one-sided and may be quite weird.
- Annie