Part Three
Tokyo University
" ! Move it! We'll be late for orientation," yelled from afar.
looked up from the bench. "My feet are killing me; wait," she complained, holding her foot. "Just save me a seat. Where will it be again?"
rolled her eyes. 'It's in the auditorium. Make sure you won’t be late," she ordered, leaving .
swore softly. I should've never worn these shoes, she complained to herself, trying to stand up. She let out a sigh and finally got herself together to stand up. She was about to lose her balance when someone grabbed he upper arm. "Careful, you clumsy brat."
The snide remark made look sharply to her left with a glower. However, the scowl immediately turned into a surprised smile when she recognized the person.
"RIN!" she squealed, hugging him.
He chuckled and blushed at the same time. "Err… , we're in public."
She totally ignored his remark and hugged him tighter. After a few seconds, she moved away and placed both hands on her hips. "You're late," she said with a frown. "You text-ed me last night and told me you'll be here at 7 AM." She looked at her watch, which indicated that it was 9 AM. "I haven't seen you in months and you keep me waiting?" She tapped her foot impatiently on the floor, waiting for an explanation.
Hirakoba Rin rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. He watched and gave her one of his innocent/puppy eyed smiles. Ever since the day she had transferred into Higa Chuu when they were in middle school they had been inseparable. They weren’t dating, but with his crazy personality and her blunt one, they had immediately become best friends. They had even applied to and had been accepted to the same university, after days of studying and millions of mock exams.
They had talked about a relationship once, but she had quietly withdrawn and said that she just wanted to be best friends. He didn’t really mind, but he wouldn’t mind either if they were ever to go out. He also knew the reason why. Unfortunately no matter what district you were in, news did travel fast. However, he knew that she was grateful that he wasn't nosey and never really prodded into her private life. "I'm sorry?"
She rolled her eyes and tucked her arm under his. "Let's go,' she said, pulling him towards the auditorium. " 's waiting for me."
"For you? Or for us?" he asked, walking along her side.
"For me~" she smiled. " hasn't met you yet. I met her this summer."
Rin rubbed his jaw. "You just met her this summer and you guys are best friends now? Isn’t that too fast?" He looked around the wide campus and admired its spaciousness.
'Nope." She stuck her tongue out at him. "I love her and we're roommates."
He put his hands in his pockets as they walked to the auditorium. Looking at her, he realized that he missed her company. At the same time, he wanted to talk to her. He wanted to tell her about a girl he had met and was somewhat dating at the moment.
They walked together into the crowded auditorium and looked around until she finally spotted . She waved and dragged Rin with her and introduced the two.
was glad that the two got along well. Rin was one of the first people she had met when she moved to Higa. Although, he had somewhat of a bad boy reputation, they hit it off immediately.
Afterwards…
As they left, groaned, looking at her schedule. "My first day starts with Chemistry," she complained.
Rin patted her head. "You still have a week before you start."
snatched 's schedule. "Why would you do this to yourself?" she demanded. "Chemistry of all subjects!"
"I had no choice,” answered, walking outside with them. "I had to take a science elective and the Physics class was full."
"You will live," said. "Plus, you never know, it's Chemistry and you might find someone…”
groaned again while Rin chuckled.
The three walked to the nearest mall and decided to spend some time there. At the mall, they were by the cinemas looking at the listings. leaned upward and hugged Rin's upper arm. "What are we watching?"
He looked at her and blushed. "Err… …" he said, prying her arm away from his. "I sort of… Have a girlfriend and I don't want people to get the wrong idea about us."
moved away from him, also embarrassed. "Silly, you should've said something, you know." She looked away and checked the movie listings.
" ?"
"Rin, it's alright,” she said quietly. "It's not like we're dating or anything."
He watched her and let out a sigh. He wanted to feel alright about this, but something wasn't right. He looked at who witnessed the whole exchange and she just shrugged. He wanted to say more, but 's cell phone interrupted him. She looked at the caller ID and picked it up. "Hello?"
The other person spoke for a few minutes and listened. She let out a sigh and finally hung up. "I have to go," she said softly. "I'm sorry, Rin. I'll see you in class." She waved. " , don't stay out too late."
Rin and looked at each other.
~~~
Back in her dorm room, lay on her bed. It had been years since she'd moved to Higa. Years. Yet after all these years, she still had not been able to open her heart to someone. Rin was cool and different, but she still was never able to…
She stared at the ceiling and frowned. Although Rin's statement earlier didn’t bother her completely, but she knew it was going to be different. If he was to have a girlfriend, she would be his priority. She let out a sigh and rolled to her side, hugging her pillow. I think I rely too much on him, she thought, closing her eyes.
At 18, her emotions were confused again. It was bad enough that she had to leave home and come to university, but she felt really pathetic because she had never been in a really stable relationship.
Again, she let out a sigh. She had promised herself she would never think about him again, but she did anyway. It hurt so much. Even after so many years, it hurt sometimes…
She wondered about him.
Was he happy?
Did he have someone?
She always wondered about him.
closed her eyes. Tomorrow she had to go home to finish packing. Next week, she would start classes. She wondered how it would go. She missed her mother a lot. For years it had been just the two of them. She knew it was harder for her mom than for herself, but she also knew that her mother would never show it if she was hurting.
~~~
Kyuushuu (Okinawa)
"Mother, I can't find my jeans," complained, searching through her wardrobe.
"In your closet, to your right."
looked there and found it lying there. She sighed. She was a nervous wreck. She was starting classes tomorrow and she was still not done packing. She kept trying to go back earlier, but she kept postponing it, for she didn’t want to leave her mother alone.
She finally finished piling everything into her bag and lugged it out of her room. Rin was there and he was helping her as well. had met his girlfriend a couple of days back and actually liked the girl. She was surprised though at how shy she was. She was so unlike Rin. However, she didn’t say anything. Rin seemed happy enough with her.
Now she knew she had to go. She let out a heavy sigh and walked downstairs. "Mother?"
"I'm here, sweetie." She was standing by the stairs and waiting for to descend.
looked at her mother and hugged her. "Mother…"
Yumi laughed and hugged her back. "It's alright, sweetie. I'm always here and it's not a long journey, so you can come visit me often." She patted her back and kissed her forehead.
hugged her tighter and cried softly.
~~~
" , wake up! You'll be late," shook . " , it’s 7 and you have class at 8."
"Why do they hate me? Why, damnit? Who goes to class at this unholy hour!?" buried her face into her pillow, refusing to wake up. "I'm not waking up for Chemistry. I'm not… I'm not…"
pulled her arm. "It's mandatory. The professor takes attendance." She tugged at her arm. "You will be dropped out of class and I read your online syllabus, you have to be there on the first day to get a good group."
"Go away," muttered, swatting her hand at her. "Go away."
gave one final tug and ended up on the floor. She looked down at her friend who was glaring at her and smirked. "Get dressed. I'm going back to sleep." She yawned, covering her mouth. "I don't have class until 2."
barely managed to make it to class at ten to eight. It was a huge laboratory and most of the seats were already taken. She was relieved to know that she wasn't the only one who had class at this hour. She looked around. Where do I sit? Where do I sit?
She finally found a seat where it looked like it could be her comfort zone. Without thinking, she immediately moved to it when another guy took the seat next to her as well. "Oh, I'm so…" began, but froze.
~~~
Tachibana Kippei saw the minute she entered the lab. He had tried to avoid her by not being in her line of sight, but somehow, they ended up sitting next to each other. The fact that she was stunned told him that she had recognized him already. He had no time to say anything as a distinguished man walked in.
"Good morning, class. I am your professor and please take a good look at the person next to you because you'll be working together for the entire semester," he announced, pushing up his glasses.
The professor heard some groans and protests.
"In my class, you go by my rules."
And that was that.
Great, Tachibana thought. It's bad enough that was still frozen, but they were stuck working together now. He should've dropped this subject when he still had the option to do so.
He turned to look at her. He was surprised at first when he saw her, but at the same time, he felt something. She had grown. He hadn’t seen her for years and it was obvious now to him that she was not 14 years old anymore. She was taller and her hair was longer. Her features had changed slightly to give her more of woman's look than a young teenager.
finally looked at him. "Hi."
He gave her a small smile and nodded. "Good morning, . I never expected you to join here."
"I'm surprised you're here. You always said you wanted to study abroad."
He looked at the professor. "I did, actually, in my first year, but I had to come back so I transferred here for my second year." He jotted some notes down in his notebook.
looked curiously at him. She wanted to know why. There was a distinctly sad look in his face, but she didn’t say anything. She looked to her notebook and began writing down the important things they needed to know about this class.
When the class ended, gathered her belongings and found him waiting for her. The professor had drawled for about half an hour about their project and she was dreading it. It looked like a lot of work and therefore, she would have to work a good deal with him.
"Here." He gave her a piece of folded paper and she looked at it curiously. "It has my e-mail and cell phone number. Contact me when you're done with the research part. Then we can both sit together and see what we have collected and what we can use."
She tucked the paper into her jeans pocket and nodded as they walked across the hall. spotted Rin and excused herself from Tachibana. The fact that her heart was beating like crazy the whole time did not do any wonders to her. "Rin!" she said, reaching him.
"Your first day and already you're exchanging…" he began, but stopped. "Was that Tachibana Kippei?!"
hesitated. "It doesn't matter,” she said quietly. She looked at her schedule. "I have Cross Culture now, I need to go," she said hurriedly. "I'll meet you for lunch." She waved at him, walking away.
She went straight to the bathroom and hid herself in one of the stalls. Leaning against the door, she exhaled. I knew Chemistry was a cursed subject, but this is pushing it far, she thought wryly. It's bad enough that I have to see Kippei three times a week, but I have to work with him now. controlled her breathing. It's been four years. You need to let it go… You need to move on… Maybe this is a test from fate.
"Let someone else be fate’s guinea pig," she growled, banging the door. She walked out, looked into the mirror and washed her face. Why did he have to look so good!? And why did he look so sad?
Ignoring her thoughts, she picked her books and walked out to get to her next class. She was more nervous about this than being at university for the first time.
The whole day, had numbly gone through the rest of her classes. She listened carefully and took her notes. She didn’t see Rin or and she wasn't in the mood to do so. She knew if they took one look at her, they'd know that something was wrong. She was sure that they had heard the rumors about her and Tachibana, but she didn’t know if they knew of her suicide attempt. She would never be able to look them in the eyes if they knew.
When she was finally back at the dorms, it was already 5 PM. wasn't back yet, so decided to shower and change into her pajamas. She just wanted to sleep, for she was exhausted.
After her shower, she lay on her bed and picked up her cell phone. There was a number she had been meaning to call for some time now. She waited until someone answered the call. "Syuusuke."
Fuji chuckled. "You only call me Syuusuke when you're distressed," he said on the other end of the line. "Was the first day exhausting for you?"
"No. I'm angry at you for leaving me here and going off to the Middle East by yourself."
He laughed again. "I had a friend here and decided to check the place out. It's not all sand and camels you know," he explained. "I took a lot of pictures, I'll e-mail them to you," he added, and then he went quiet before asking, "Is everything alright?'
'Yes. I'm just… I'm just feeling homesick. I've been with my mother for years."
"Don’t worry," he assured. "You can always visit during the weekends."
"Yeah, yeah. That's what she said too." laughed. As much as she wanted to tell him that she had seen Kippei, she just couldn't. Maybe her conscious was right. Maybe I'm overreacting! It's been so long after all. She played with her nails and looked at the clock. "Fuji, I'm going to go. I just wanted to say hi. I do miss you."
"I'll be visiting in a couple of months."
"I look forward to that," said, before saying goodbye and hanging up. She fell back on her bed and bent her knees. Interesting day indeed…
~~~
In the following weeks, Tachibana Kippei and became regulars at the library. They were careful though. They stayed on subject. They never talked about anything else. They didn’t sit close to each other. They didn’t open old wounds. She didn’t know whether he was feeling the same…
She didn’t think she could ask…
It would devastate her if he didn’t feel the same…
was now working on some equations while he read something. She tapped her pencil, which indicated that she was stuck. Tachibana knew that sign and looked up from his book. "Where are you stuck?"
looked up. "Stuck? Oh I'm sorry, I was just…"
"Kippei~"
The voice that interrupted them was new to . She looked curiously at the source of it and found a mass of ash blonde hair. She still couldn’t see the girl's face. She couldn’t see anything. All she saw…
All she saw was that that girl had leaned down and she was kissing Tachibana fully on the lips.
It seemed like he was in shock as well. He pushed her away none too gently. "What are you doing here, Sai?" he asked, a bit of irritation in his voice.
looked away. She could not get that scene out of her head. Who is this girl? Why was she kissing him? Are they an item? All those thoughts ran through her head and she tried to shake them away, but she couldn’t. Not when the girl was still standing there.
"I'm making it clear to this girl that Tachibana Kippei is mine." She flipped her hair and narrowed her eyes at .
glared back. "Do I look like I want him?" she snapped back, angry at that girl for making such a statement. It made it seem final that Tachibana was indeed involved with someone.
"You're here with him every ni…"
“Enough!” Tachibana stood up and grabbed Sai's wrist. He dragged the protesting girl out of the library.
picked up her books. Her heart was beating so fast that she thought she was going to faint. Just the thought of that girl with him… She walked quickly out of the library and bumped into him.
" ?"
"Not now." She sidestepped him. "I have to go."
He grabbed her wrist. "Don't misun…"
"It doesn't matter," she snapped, pushing his hand away. "It doesn't matter."
ran all the way to her dorm and jumped in. There were tears in her eyes. The scene had impacted her more than she wanted it to. To her surprise she found Rin and there. It was too late to wipe the tears away. " ?" asked, worried.
"Please don't ask." She wiped her tears as Rin hugged her. "I just got emotional." The fact was that she finally got the answer. If she ever saw Tachibana with another girl, how would she feel?
The answer was that it hurt like hell.
~~~
She ignored his calls. She ignored his e-mails. She even skipped class. noticed the change, but didn’t say anything. Rin tried coming over often to cheer her up, but it was pointless. Finally, a few days later, she got a text message. She checked her inbox and almost dropped her cell phone.
We need to meet. It's due in three weeks. Kippei.
read it and frowned. She didn’t want to, but she knew she couldn't make either of them fail the class. She finally text-ed him back and asked when he wanted to meet and he set the time and date for later.
At 7 PM, dragged her feet to the library. She found him already there. He didn’t say anything and she didn’t encourage him to say anything. They worked in silence. Notes were being exchanged. Books were exchanged, equations were solved. If she was stuck, she'd just put the paper on the table and he'd take a look at it.
It was hours when he finally threw his pencil down. was surprised.
"I'm sorry, , but that girl is crazy." He moved a hand through his tousled blond locks. 'I'm not dating her. I never was."
"You don't have to…"
"I do have to explain," he interrupted, looking at her. "The fact that you've been ignoring me all these days tells me that it upset you. I… I've been giving it a lot of thought, . I think we should give 'us' another try. That's if you're ready to forgive me at this point. I know it's been years, but… I just want to say that we should give it another try."
looked stunned at what he had said. He still has feelings for me? She wanted to cry when she realized that, but was it tears of joy? Or sadness? The forgiveness issue is something I'll never forget, but it has been years… do I want to try and see what it feel likes to be Kippei's girl again? She looked down. What if it doesn’t work out? Am I strong enough to go through that pain again? Will I be able to withstand losing him again?
" ?"
"I'm just thinking," she said quietly. "I'm just thinking." She looked down at her knees. "I will regret not giving this another try, but I don’t know if I'm strong enough to lose you again, Kippei," she admitted, still not looking at him. "I am older now, but I don’t know." She looked up at him. "I made a lot of changes in my life because of what happened in the past. I don't want to throw it all away." Damnit, I'm contradicting myself…
"It's alright if you don’t…"
"Let's give it another try," she interrupted. "I think its okay to try this one more time. You never know…Maybe it's for the best, even if it doesn't work out. It will leave all the doubt we have in our minds aside."
Tachibana reached for her hand and took it in his own. "It will be alright, . I won't make the same mistake again." He looked at her and smiled. "Why don't we leave now? I think we had enough Chemistry for today."
nodded and walked out with him. She wondered what fate had in store for her~
~~~
Two Days Later
watched in surprise. She saw her best friend dressing up. was dressing up. never dressed up. " ?" she asked curiously.
looked up from the mirror as she brushed her hair. "I am just going out."
"On a date?"
hesitated, but nodded. "Yes," she admitted, putting on her earrings. "It's a guy from my Chemistry class," she explained. She wasn't exactly lying, but she didn’t want to say that it was Tachibana yet.
studied her good friend. 'You're not going to tell me who he is, are you?" she said knowingly. She had noticed the change in her attitude. However, she was still disturbed about why had been crying the other night. Even Rin had come over and talked to her about it. She wondered whether it was her studies or social life that made her cry. let out a sigh and shook her head. "So where are you going?' she finally asked.
looked at her from the mirror. "I'm not sure," she answered. "He didn't say and I'm not picky." She stood up, picking up her jacket. "I'm going now."
watched her. " ?" she said, making her stop. "If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you," she told her. “Rin too.”
But you'll never understand, thought sadly. This is something I couldn't even tell Syuusuke, she looked at her. gave a fake smile. "I'm good," she assured. "I'll see you later."
walked out and went to the sports complex. She was supposed to meet him by the gate there since it was the most convenient. She looked around and finally found him. She realized one thing she liked about him was that he was a good dresser. Not like he was dressed in anything special, but he looked good in jeans and a casual shirt. His mass blond hair was messy as usual, but with a wave of sexiness. She blushed at her thoughts and waved.
He looked up and waited for her to walk up to him. "Hey," he greeted casually. "Let's go?" he invited, taking her hand in his and leading her.
walked next to him. "Where are we going?" she asked. She had the urge to hug his arm like she used to. It was a bad habit of hers, but she restrained herself from doing so.
"I thought we'd go to our pond."
stopped walking and let go of his hand. It was too sentimental.
He took a hold of her hand again and gave her an encouraging smile. "It will just be for a little while and then we'll catch a movie. I figured it would be a good place to catch up on things."
She hesitated, but nodded and walked along with him. They reached after a while and finally took an empty spot by the side and sat down. noticed that there really wasn't anyone around. She hugged her knees and looked at the pond, resting her chin on her knees. "How is An?"
He leaned against a tree. "Good, I imagine," he answered. "She and Senri are still together," he said, surprising her. "They're in the States. She dragged him there so he could finally get his eye checked."
smiled at that. "That is so An."
He nodded.
They both went quiet again. glanced at him and found him to be deep in thought. "Kippei?"
"Yeah?"
She hesitated, but asked. "Why do you look so sad, Kippei? You've had that look since I saw you on the first day of class."
He looked down and a smile formed on his lips. "Do I?" he murmured, playing with some tiny rocks on the ground. "It's just responsibilities I guess," he admitted. "My father collapsed four months ago, that’s why I had to come back. My mother is losing her mind with worry. Since An's not here, I had to make sure to be with her if she needed something."
looked down. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "I can imagine what your mother's going through though. Mom… Mom was pretty devastated when dad left us." She recalled the time when she had to help her mother. "And I hated leaving her now."
"Yes." He looked at her and took her hand. “I…” he began, but hugged her from the back instead. "Just let me hold you, . It's been such a long time."
leaned against his outstretched arms and placed her hand on his arm. "Yes, it has been a long time," she agreed. She knew he was being forward, but they both needed this. She didn’t care, but she had missed these arms. The fact that they were stronger was a bonus for her and she decided to enjoy them for now. 'Kippei, have… umm… Were you serious about anyone?"
He let out a sigh, the air tickling her hair. She pushed her hair back behind her ear. "I dated a few girls," he admitted, "but nothing really serious." He hugged her even closer. "I worked for a month at a clinic and Sai was a patient there. Since she had to come there a lot, I got to know her, but she was… She had issues."
"I see."
They stayed like that for a while. Movie had been forgotten as the two of them tried catching up in each other's lives and find out what they have missed. hadn't moved from her position at all. In fact, she was moving in closer and he wasn't minding it all. Somehow, it felt right.
" …" whatever he was going to say was interrupted by 's cell phone. moved a bit and looked through her bag for her cell phone. She looked at the caller ID and picked it up. "Hey."
"I can see you."
paused. "Rin, what the hell do…"
"To your left."
turned her head to the left and her heart skipped a beat. Rin was standing not far away from them with a smirk on his face. When he saw her looking at him, he waved. jumped from Tachibana's hold and looked away. Uh-oh! Now I'm definitely screwed. She was even more horrified when she saw Rin walk towards them.
"I would've never guessed that it would be you, Tachibana."
Tachibana stood up and looked at Rin. He glanced at and then back at him again. "We’re both adults and can decide what we want to do," he said. " is old enough…"
"Don't start giving me excuses," Rin interrupted, grabbing a fistful of Tachibana's shirt. "You really think I'll allow you to hurt her again? It's bad enough that you almost made her die one time."
clutched Rin's arm. "Rin," she pleaded. "Please let go and stop making a scene."
Tachibana moved his hand and held Rin's wrist tightly where he was holding his shirt. "Let go," Tachibana said in a low voice.
looked at Tachibana and then back at Rin. Kippei's violent side will come out if I don't stop Rin, she thought in a panic. She tugged at Rin's arm, but he wouldn’t let go, so she decided to stop Tachibana. "Please…" she said softly, holding his arm. "Kippei, please!"
Tachibana let go and Rin lost his grip, releasing him as well. He looked at and said, "Che… I'm out of here."
"Rin," said.
"Forget it, . To think you didn’t tell me you're seeing him really is..." but he never finished his sentence. He just walked away.
wanted to run after him, but Tachibana stopped her. "Let him cool off."
"But…"
He turned her around and hugged. "It's alright. Let him cool off." He put his hand on her shoulder.
looked down. Without thinking, she stepped closer and hugged him. She wrapped her arms tightly around him. She didn't say anything. She didn't know what to say. It was day one that they were trying and already someone was opposed to it. "Shall we head back?" he asked.
"Two more minutes," she whispered, closing her eyes.
~~~
When walked into her apartment, she found sound asleep. She tiptoed in, trying not to wake her up. However, she should've known that wasn't asleep. "I'm not sure if what you're doing is smart."
let out a sigh and looked at her. "Did Rin call you?"
"I'm not sure if him barging in and shouting like mad, waking everyone in the dorms up can be categorized as 'calling me'."
"So you know…?" sat down on 's bed, who nodded, where she lay down. "It's difficult," she admitted, looking at the ceiling. "I may be stupid. But… It's Kippei, ," she concluded as if that was the answer to everything. "It's been years, but my heart still beats for him like it always used to."
watched her. It seemed her best friend was already confused, so she didn't wasn’t to say anything else that would upset her more. "So what did you guys do?"
turned to look at her. Her head was on the pillow. She smiled. "We just talked," she said quietly. "We talked about a lot of things."
watched as she fell asleep. She didn’t want to ruin her best friend's mood. She had heard the rumors about this Tachibana Kippei, but she never asked directly about it. Rin had told her some stuff, but not much in details. She knew he respected 's privacy.
Finally after thinking over things, lay down next to and closed her eyes. She hoped things would turn out for the better.
~~~
As the days passed by, knew she was in trouble, for she was even more in love with Kippei than before. As much as they both tried to work on their project, they only ended up in each other's arm and talked all night along. She had still not seen or talked to Rin and it made her sad.
The one thing though was she was still being careful. They had not made out or anything like that. So far it seemed like all they did was talk, but she was getting nervous. He had tried kissing her once or twice, but both times she had moved away. She didn't know why she had hesitated, but maybe she knew somehow that if she allowed him that then it would be finally 'real'. If she got that involved with him, then it would harder on her if they were to ever separate.
Today, she was seated next to him. They were out in a coffee house, finalizing the project. kept smiling though. It was this stupid project that made her meet him again. She studied him as he typed. She loved his long hair now. The way it fell on his eye as he typed made her want to brush them away and she did.
H