Chapter Ten
My heart stopped.
My breathing stopped.
My sanity stopped.
I felt like I would have collapsed if the person next to me had not held me in place. Mama. One word. I never imagined it to have such a powerful effect on me. I fell onto my knees slipping out of the person's grip and looked at . "I'm sorry."
walked in and held my hand. "Why…"
" !" Atobe interrupted sternly. "We said we wouldn't ask her."
looked at his father and his newfound mother. "Is daddy and mummy together?" he asked curiously.
"Do you even know what together means?" Atobe muttered wryly, watching me hug . I picked him up.
"No, we were just having dinner," I answered quietly, placing a kiss on his cheek. "Do you want to stay with mummy tonight?" I asked.
" …" Atobe scolded.
"Don't… Don't deprive me of this!" I was a bit surprised though when I shouted that sentence. My son was taking this too easily. I mean, I had thought a lot of drama would be involved, but he seemed to have accepted the fact that I was his mother already.
He was not smiling at that. Somehow, I had the feeling he was angry because had disobeyed him and come to our floor. "I'm staying with you two in the same room. I don’t want you filling his head with crazy things."
"The only thing crazy in this whole situation is you," I hissed at him in annoyance. I ignored him, still carrying and walked to Yuushi's floor. I wanted 's belongings since he was staying with us tonight. Fortunately, Atobe was wise enough not to follow me and went to my apartment instead.
Yuushi greeted me, but I gave him the cold shoulder. It was because of him that I was in this situation. "How long are you going to keep this up?" he asked, handing me 's bag.
"When you decide not to butt into my personal affairs," I replied haughtily, leaving.
"Is mummy mad at 's daddy?" asked me when we walked into my apartment.
" ," Atobe interrupted me before answering his question. "Didn't I tell you to address him as Oshitari-sama or Uncle Yuushi. It's all about respect."
looked down.
I rolled my eyes. "You scold him too much."
"I want my son to grow up with the proper attitude."
"Just like his father?" I asked sarcastically, going into the bedroom. He followed me.
"What was that supposed to mean?" he demanded angrily. "If you're implying something then say it to my face."
"You already know it…"
We argued.
He was shouting.
I was shouting.
However, I suddenly stopped when I heard crying. was crying out loud with his face covered on the bed. "Sweetie…" I began, trying to hold him, but he moved away.
"No…" he whispered, sniffling. "Daddy and mummy are mad at me."
I looked at Atobe and then back at . "No, no, sweetie," I soothed, rubbing his back. "We're not mad."
kept crying. "You're shouting," he said between tears.
I looked at Atobe again pleading that he would say something. "Your mother's angry with me because I broke something," Atobe lied, sitting on the bed next to where I was holding .
was still not convinced rubbing his tears away.
"Be a man, ," Atobe added. "Didn't we say no crying in front of women?"
I smacked Atobe on the head. "You really are an idiot!" I hissed, pushing him away. I felt tear up again, but this time Atobe pulled him onto his lap. "Didn't I say no crying in public?" he said rubbing 's tears away with his shirt sleeves. "It will upset your mother."
nodded, still sniffling.
I saw Atobe talk to him quietly and finally calmed down. " , give me his pajamas."
I watched in amazement. I didn’t know that Atobe had this impact on our son. I always thought he was too busy for him. I stood up, picking up 's bag and pulled his pajamas.
We both dressed him and I took him to the bathroom so he could brush his teeth. When we came out, I saw Atobe asleep on the bed only in his pants. I wanted to yell and throw him out, but I didn't want to upset again. He jumped onto the bed and hugged Atobe's arm. "Good night."
Atobe patted his head gently and smiled.
"Sweetie, get some sleep," I said quietly. "I will be next door…"
sat up. "'Mummy won't stay with us?"
"No, you have…"
"Please…" he said with puppy eyes. I looked shocked. I wasn’t even aware that he knew that trick. I was always a sucker for that trick. had pulled it on me several times, but I’d never see him do it. "Fine," I muttered. "I just need to change."
"Yay!"
Yay indeed, I thought sarcastically.
~~~
~*~*~Day Three~*~*~
I woke up in the morning to only find myself on the bed. I turned to look at the time and gasped when I saw that it was eleven. "Damnit, work!" I shouted, falling off the bed. I rushed to get dressed when a note caught my attention.
We both tried waking you up, but you were dead asleep. I called work for you and told them you were sick. Keigo.
I was dead asleep? I don’t remember ever being a heavy sleeper. I cleared my head from the sudden rush of getting up and went to the bathroom. I don't know why while washing my face I thought of Nioh. It was still…weird. I was used to his constant calling and messaging and suddenly it was gone.
My cheeks heated up again, recalling what had almost happened between us. How would the situation really be right now if we had… I shook my head. Stop thinking about it, I scolded my mind.
I walked out of my bedroom and found the place empty. "Where is everybody?" I asked, but it was not a surprise that there wasn't any answer. I let out a sigh and busied myself in the apartment. It was late so I did some cleaning and cooked something for dinner. I wasn't in the mood for lunch.
After I was done, I went to take a shower.
~~~
Atobe came back home and found no one there. He heard the shower running and went to the guest room to change. He walked back out, wearing casual clothes, and went to the kitchen. So she's been busy, he thought, noticing the many dishes on the stove. He retraced his steps and went into the living room. He noticed a bookshelf. He moved his hand across the many books, looking for something to read when he saw something peculiar.
Atobe curiously looked at the black leather, pulling it out. Why was it tucked behind everything else? He pulled it out and flipped through the pages. To his surprise he found it to be an album only of . He held it and went to the sofa placing it on his lap. He flipped through it page by page and was trying to decide the events in the album.
His eyes settled on one picture and he actually smiled. It was a picture of when he was a baby. He was a fat baby with gorgeous gray eyes and mass of dark hair.
~~~
I walked out of my room, after I showered and dressed in something comfortable. I found Atobe in the living room reading something. I approached him and saw that it was 's album that he was looking at.
"This is him at two months," I said quietly, watching him from behind the couch. I extended my arm and touched the picture. "He was heavy for me to carry around," I muttered lovingly. I flipped some pages and showed him my favorite picture. "I love him here. He said his first word here…"
"What was his first word?"
"Da!"
"I don't see any pictures of him when he's walking." Atobe observed, but he stopped, realizing his mistake. He turned immediately.
I heard him turn, but ignored him. His remark hit right on the spot. I never saw my son when he started walking. I went to the kitchen and busied myself at the sink, trying to wash some of the utensils that I had been using earlier.
" …"
I didn't turn around as I did the washing. "Please don't call me that."
" ."
I heard my name again and felt his hand grasping my shoulder. He squeezed it hard and turned me around. My hand was holding a wooden spoon and it was covered in suds, but I was too surprised to make any move. Atobe cupped my face and he was kissing me. He was kissing me hard.
"I'm sorry," he whispered against my lips.
I tried moving, but he pushed me back against the sink and held my waist tightly, hugging me close to him and used his other hand to support my head.
"Ato… Ah…." I murmured against his lips, dropping the wooden spoon.
He angled his lips several times over my own and trailed them passionately all over my face.
"Stop!"
"Let's forget everything for now. I want us to feel us just for now."
I stopped and looked at him. He was watching me carefully, his hands cupping my face again. I was confused. It hurt so much, but it felt magnificent. My body loosened itself from the stiff posture I was holding and I closed my eyes. I moved my hand and placed my palms over his chest, I opened my eyes and looked up at him. He was watching. He was waiting.
"Don't do this to me," I said softly. However, my hands moved of their own accord and wrapped themselves around his neck, and I lowered his head gently.
Something exploded.
I'd felt this passion before, but to my horror, I had felt it with someone else. We were kissing like we had never kissed before. Lips were furiously working against each other, tongues engaging in a dance, and his hands felt very good as they moved sensually all over me.
Distantly, I felt the sink edge poking my back, but I didn’t care. I was more aware of the hands that were firmly set against my lower back and moving up and down. I was crushed against him and it felt wonderful. How many times had we been like this? How many times had it felt as superb?
For a second, he moved his heated lips away and hastily unbuttoned his shirt. I could sense the heat radiating from him. It scared me. I actually moved away, but he slapped his hand hard across the sink behind me and caged me in again.
I looked up and saw a different set of eyes. He jerked his shirt off and pulled me even closer with the other arm. There was love, tenderness, and something else in those eyes. It was a look that I'd seen many times before.
"You know I never leave things unfinished, ," he said, raising my chin.
I thought he was gong to kiss me again, but instead he started trying to unbutton my shirt. He tried, but in his haste didn’t seem to be able to do so. The buttons were remarkably stubborn and refused to yield. "Did you wear this on purpose?" he demanded.
"No, why would I do…"
<RIP>
"Atobe…" I whispered as his lips descended on my own again. My shirt was half-torn, he was invading my mouth and he had his arms tightly around my waist. This time I realized that I was kissing him back. I pulled him tightly against me with his hair and kissed him angrily. I was furious with myself and also angry with him, but I didn’t care. I wanted to feel this passion.
He lifted me up and threw me onto the nearest sofa. I sat up, but he leaned over me, stopping me. "Help me take this off," he ordered, tugging at my loose comfortable pants.
I looked at him and realized how utterly sexy he looked. "No," I said, looking away. My mind and body were screaming for him, but I was being stubborn. I knew I wanted this, but I was being stubborn.
With a quick tug, he pulled them off. My cheeks flared, but I still looked away. " ," he whispered, biting my ear lightly. "I've seen you." He kissed my neck. "I've seen all of you." He kissed my eye. "You and I made our little together." A kiss on my nose. "Why are you so shy?"
He didn’t let me answer. He just bent down and kissed me, loosening his hold and then he was not just leaning over me anymore, but he was on top of me. Our bodies were crushed together as we kissed, legs entangled, and much more.
"We're finishing this, ," he said against my lips. I was too drowned in my emotions to even reply. However, somewhere faraway in the back of my mind, someone was telling me to stop. I knew I had to listen, but if it…
<RING>
We both stopped. I looked at him when he pulled his lips back. He looked at me. He had a devilish look to him. His eyes were narrow and hair tousled and falling over his eyes. We waited. Ten seconds. Twenty. "Ignore them," he muttered, leaning back down.
<RING>
With all the energy I had left, I rolled away from underneath him. I was angry at myself for responding to him like that. I realized that if that bell hadn’t rung then, I would've… Damnit, why was I so weak when it came to men when they kissed me? My mind recalled when I was with Nioh and now… With Atobe? What the hell was wrong with me?
The doorbell rang again. I picked up my clothes quickly, ignoring Atobe's swearing and rushed to my room to put on another shirt. I walked to the door and as I did, I passed by the hallway mirror. I realized that my hair was messy and my face was a deep red. There was no way on earth that I was going to be able to open the door looking like this. I swore softly and held onto my face with both hands. I turned and saw him behind me. "Go wash your face," he said quietly, now wearing his shirt again. "I'll handle whoever's at the door."
I wanted to hit him for making such a remark, but I just went to my bedroom. Before I could go into the bathroom, my cell phone rang. I didn’t even look at the caller ID before picking it up.
"Yo…"
My heart started beating really fast. "Nioh?" Why was I feeling nervous? I thought. It's not like Nioh and I have something going on. "Hey…" I was waving at my face. Damnit, why is it still heated? I thought annoyed.
"Bad timing?"
I hesitated. "N-No…" I answered. "I have guests over."
“No problem. I'm just wondering if you wanted to do some shopping with me. I need to buy Kaho something for her birthday and I'm not good when it comes to shopping for women. Yagyuu said he would do it, but he had to cancel. Then I asked Renji, but…”
Is he explaining himself to me? "Nioh,' I interrupted. "You can still call me you know and go out with me if you need anything."
"I just hope you don’t feel uncomfortable if we spend some time together."
But the question is: how comfortable will you be with me? I thought to myself. We chatted for a while and I was finally interrupted when Atobe walked in. I immediately felt embarrassed. I hung up after bidding Nioh goodbye and stood. "Who was it?" I asked, not looking at him.
"It's Yuushi and the kids. They're still here," he answered, leaning by the door.
I didn’t look at him.
" …"
"What happened earlier will not change anything," I said firmly, standing up. "It was a mistake and you caught me at a bad time."
His eyes clouded. I felt he was angered by that, but he didn’t look like it. "So am I to assume that every time you're feeling vulnerable, you'll end up kissing someone?" he asked crudely. "I don't think I would like to share…"
"Don't finish that sentence!" I snapped. “Do you really think of me as a wanton slut?!" I demanded, tightening my fist. "You caught me off guard, damnit! I've never kissed anyone since we divorced other then you and…" I immediately covered my mouth.
Atobe straightened himself up. "Do continue that sentence, my darling ex-wife. I'm curious to know who else has tasted those precious lips of yours." He crossed his arms, challenging me.
I moved my hand from my mouth to my forehead and fell onto my knees. "Why do you keep saying cruel things to me?" I whispered, placing both hands on the floor. "Do you hate me that much?"
"No, . It’s the complete opposite," he answered. "You still want me. You want me as much as I want you," he said, leaving the room.
I placed my fingers on my lips and felt the bruise. Do I really want him as much as he wants me? I let out a sigh. I do realize that he's making an effort and he's trying to adjust. I do realize that. I loved him at one point and I knew… I knew my heart was betraying me and it was allowing him in again.
I'm afraid to ask myself if I want this. Am I falling in love with him again? Is this why I can't stop thinking about him? Is this why I responded to him? I'm actually thinking about him.
~~~
I ignored Atobe for the rest of the evening. I'm sure even Yuushi noticed that something was wrong. I was also thankful that was spending the night with a friend, so that meant that I wouldn't be seeing Atobe when I sleep.
I turned in the minute they left and decided not to think about anything. I was meeting Nioh in the morning and I did not want to think of anything else.
~*~*~Day Four~*~*~
"You… You look tired, ."
I looked up from my juice at Nioh and gave him a weak smile. I hadn’t slept at all last night. Atobe's stupid kiss kept repeating itself into my mind. I had woken up really early to shower and change, so I would not have to see him. I still prepared his breakfast for him before I left. It was also strange that I found him sleeping on the living room sofa. "I didn’t sleep…"
"Ex-hubby keeping you busy?"
I froze. I looked at him again and this time, I felt… I felt hurt. Without thinking, I stood up abruptly, but he grabbed my wrist. "I was only kidding."
"Well, don't joke like that! It's not funny! I am not with him! I hate him…" I pulled my hand away from his grip.
He narrowed his eyes. "What about , ? Don't you think he deserves good parents?"
I looked down. "Don't say that. How can I be with someone who hurt me so much?" I asked him, sitting down again. "They all want me to try. I mean… He's living with me for 's sake, but…" I placed my elbows on the table and leaned my chin on my hands. "I don't want you to tell me that too, Nioh. Not you…"
He stood up from his place, circled the table and sat next to me. "I didn’t have happy parents, .” He put his arm around me. "They would constantly fight and cheat on each other. At one point, it had even got physical."
I didn’t say anything. Why was Nioh confusing me again? "I still get mixed feelings from you. If I hadn’t known about your ex-girlfriend, I really would have thought that you and I had something going on," I admitted, looking up at him.
He just hugged me without saying a word. I guess it was stupid of me to mention his ex-girlfriend who had passed away. I looked at him and I felt him lean even closer. Wait a minute… Does he want to kiss me? He got closer, but then my cell phone interrupted us. Startled, I moved away from him and rummaged through my bag to pick it up. I finally found it. "Hello?"
"Where are you?"
Where am I? I gritted my teeth. He really was getting intolerable. "Atobe, you have…"
" , it's an emergency," he interrupted. I felt like his voice was on edge. " 's in surgery, his appendix ruptured earlier."
I felt my breath hitch. Oh my… My baby was in pain. I asked him which hospital they were at and stood up. "I need to go," I told Nioh frantically. I turned around to leave, but he grabbed my wrist for the second time that day. "Let me drop you off."
I so wanted him to, but I stopped him. If Nioh dropped me off it would cause conflict if Atobe saw us. Although I was not involved with him, Atobe would think otherwise and being in the state I was in at the moment, I did not want any clashes. "I don’t think it would be a good idea."
"I thought you said you didn’t care what your ex-husband says," he remarked, watching me. "Plus, it's not like we're sleeping with each other."
I looked up at him dryly. I realized that it might be a mistake to see him. Was it too soon? He was still vulnerable perhaps. I put my hand on his chest and he held it. "Nioh… I have to go now," I said quietly. "Maybe… maybe we should not see each other for a while."
He leaned down and kissed my forehead. "Yes," he agreed, holding my hand. "I've kept you. Go to your son, ."
I turned around and left. I had a feeling that I was not going to see him for a while. Did we make a mistake? I don't know… I couldn’t think at the moment. I needed to go to .
I rushed to the hospital and looked around. I felt relief when I saw Atobe there. "Atobe?"
He stood up. "He's still inside." He looked at the door. "It might be a while." He returned to his seat and sat down.
I sat down next to him. Unconsciously, I reached for his hand and held it. My baby was in there under a knife and I need assurance. He turned my hand and held it in his own instead. "He'll make it , don't worry. Appendicectomy(1) is common and this doctor is good. I'm just thankful I was able to bring him here in time, so stop worrying."
I wasn’t even listening to him, but I did hear my phone ring. I looked at the caller ID. "Fuji…”
"How are you?"
I hesitated, but told him that I was not in a good shape. He spoke to me for a while and hung up. I watched my surroundings and felt my heart ache. It's only been four days since Atobe had come to live with me, but why are so many things happening? I was also worried because I knew the symptoms. Why didn't I see it in so I could prevent it from rupturing. Damnit! I could've brought him to a doctor earlier if I had seen the signs. I looked at Atobe and remembered my previous thoughts of how ironic everything has been.
Does fate want us together as well?
Will I ever be able to forgive him for what he did?
Will my heart ever let him in?
I was pondering over these questions when he nudged me. I saw a doctor walk out and he immediately came over to us.
"He will be fine, but he'll need some time to recover from surgery." The doctor wrote something on his clip board. "I'd suggest that you two go home and rest. You can see him in a couple of hours."
I wanted to say no, but Atobe took my hand and pulled me up. "We'll do that," he said, pulling me towards the lobby after thanking the doctor. I stopped halfway.
"I want to stay."
"It won't do you any good."
I felt like being stubborn. "I want to stay," I repeated firmly. "I don't want to go home." If I went home then I would be forced to be there with you. I'll have to keep seeing you and what happened yesterday will keep coming back to me. I don’t want to be alone with you.
Why are you still holding his hand?
I stopped and my eyes went to the hand that I was clutching so tightly to. I immediately let go and looked away. Why are you doing this to me? Why are you torturing me like this? Why do you keep talking to me about Atobe?
I am more of your subconscious... Your inner self. You are confused. Even after you had that conversation with Nioh, you are still confused and can't stop thinking of your ex-husband.
" …" He reached for my hand, but I moved away.
"No," I said softly, holding my arm. "Please… Please just go." I looked away. "I just can't handle you at the moment."
He ignored my request and turned me around. The next minute, I felt being pulled into his arms. "Atobe?" I exclaimed, my voice muffled against his chest.
"Do you think that I was not terrified when I had to drive him to the hospital? All the pain he was in… But he still refused to cry because he said that it would make his mother sad." There was an edge in his voice. " … I can't do it anymore. I can't raise him on my own. He needs his mother."
I wanted to say something, but he just let go of me and left.
What will you do now ?
~~~
Later
Oshitari Yuushi was looking over some documents alone at his apartment when he heard the furious banging of the door. was staying at 's and he was just enjoying some time on his own. He was startled at the sound and went to the door, opening it.
"Look at me…" whispered, crying. "Look what you've done to me! I feel so pathetic." She fell on the floor. "I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do," she cried, covering her face. "I hate you, Yuushi. I hate you so much for putting me through this."
Oshitari calmly studied the situation and bent down. "Why do you keep doing this to yourself?" he asked, patting her head gently. "You still have three days to go and already you've caused so much drama."
He felt her seize his shirt and he thought she was going to slap him, but instead, she just fell forward and hugged him. "I'm such a mess… I'm such a mess… He told me things… He told me things that were so beautiful, but I can't believe him. No matter how sincere he sounds, I just can't believe him anymore." She moved her hand to his back and was clutching onto him so tightly that he knew he was getting a bruise there. "Yuushi, please stop this and tell him to leave. I can't take it anymore. I'm begging you. He is confusing me. One minute I hate him and then the next, I lo…" I stopped mid-sentence when I realized what I had just almost blurted out.
He gently took hold of her arm and moved it so she would not hold onto his back like that. "You need to calm down." He stood up, pulling her with him, but she was immovable. He ended up back on the floor. " , this is for your own good. You just admitted that you loved him still."
And finally it came.
<SLAP>
Oshitari was actually stunned at that action, but he didn’t show it on his face. He watched her rub her eyes and then surprised him by standing up and walked away without saying another word.
~~~
I didn’t go back to my apartment. I roamed around the city for a couple of hours and then headed back to the hospital. I regretted slapping Yuushi, but I was so angry and upset that I didn’t know what to do. How dare they plan this? Did they plan that I fall in love with him again? Nobody had the right to manipulate my life like this. I don’t care if people told me that getting back together with Atobe was good for me. They had no right to say those things to me. They do not know what I had to go through. However… Sadly, it seemed to be working a bit.
When I walked into the hospital, I saw Fuji in the lobby. I didn’t say anything but just hugged him tightly. I wanted to ask why he was here, but I could not find the words to speak. I was losing my sanity slowly and I felt like any little thing would trigger my tears so I remained silent. I had a feeling that Fuji knew it was something else and not that had me in tears.
"Who caused these tears, ?" I heard him ask. "Atobe or Nioh?"
"I just want to see my baby," I said quietly as he held me. Fuji put his arm around me and walked me to 's room. He said he had already asked where he was staying.
We found still asleep. There was a nurse next to him, but she left quietly once we were there. I sat next to him on the bed and held his hand.
" , what's going on? You look like you are going to break down any minute."
I shook my head. "I just want my baby, Fuji, nothing else. I don’t care about anyone else." I moved 's hair off his face and caressed his cheek. He chose that moment to wake up. "Ma… Mama…" he groggily whispered, blinking several times.
I leaned forward and peered into his face. "Hey sweetie," I whispered, rubbing my nose lightly with his. "Mummy's so proud of her little boy. You were very brave."
tried to smile for me, but it was obvious that he was still under the influence of anesthetic. He held my hand and touched my hair with the other. "Daddy?" he asked curiously. I frowned because I didn’t want to see Atobe, but I knew I couldn’t deny a son of his father. I was going to make up an excuse, but…
"I'm here." He walked in, dressed in casual wear.
I didn’t look at him, but I heard the light exchange between him and Fuji. The next thing I felt was that he was standing next to me. "How do you feel?" Atobe looked at .
"I am hungry."
I chuckled, but then went serious. "You can't eat yet, sweetie."(2)
Atobe ruffled his hair. "Your mother is right. If you eat now, you'll only throw it up."
He blinked, but nodded. "Can I go back to sleep then?" he asked, trying to move. He winced a little.
"And no moving either," I added. "Your stitches are still not healed."
Atobe looked at me, but I did not look back. I felt that gaze. I could feel it so bad. "Stay with him, . I'm going to arrange to move him to our private hospital now. The rooms are more comfortable there."
I looked at him and when I did, I felt like it was wrong of me because my heart started beating faster. The way he was looking at me, did not help either. I instantly looked away. "I don't think it's a good idea to move him." I moved to stand up, but held my hand and had that look in his eyes. It was then that I realized my baby was feeling very vulnerable. "It's alright," I said, poking his nose. "You're my brave little man. I will stay with you."
I stayed by his bed until he slept. Fuji stayed with me while Atobe left to make arrangements. Strangely, when I had disagreed with his earlier comment, he didn't say anything.
"Your ex-husband… He seems more tolerant these days."
I realized what Fuji meant by that. Normally Atobe would argue with me. He would be giving disapproving looks to my friend, but somehow today… I don’t think he cared about anything. His focus seemed to be entirely on . I felt tears in my eyes because my mind was starting to hassle me again. "Fuji," I whispered, covering my eyes.
He held me. "Tell me, ," he urged. "I can help you."
I finally broke down. I told him everything. I told him about my divorce, I told him about how was not with me, I told him everything.
Fuji moved his hand through my hair. I felt a tenderness that I never felt before. At the same time, it made me think of Nioh. Although he came on too strongly at the beginning and he was always around, it made me sad to think of him. The thought of not seeing Nioh for a while did that to me. My feelings were jumbled up, but I knew I would never go further with Nioh as long as he has someone else on his mind. It made me wonder… When he tried to kiss me today - was he thinking of his deceased ex?
Fuji let go of me and my mind went to the dilemma that I was in at the moment. Even thought I was trying to ignore it, but I knew I had to seriously think of the situation I was in with Atobe.
"Maybe you should consider it," he suggested. "It might not be easy from the start, but it seems like it might help you both." He patted my head like a kid. The action made me frown. "He might've hurt you a lot, but I could tell for a fact that he places over everything else."
Just then, Atobe walked in with a couple of nurses. They worked together to move gently and then whisked him away. Atobe pulled out a card and handed it to me. "Go home and get some rest. You can come back and see later. He will be at this address."
"I know where the place is," I muttered. I had given birth to over there. He stopped when he heard my comment and turned to look at me. “Yes,” he said, rubbing his jaw. "You gave birth to our baby there." He let out a sigh then and shook his head. "I'll see you later."
What… What just happened?
~~~
Another place, another mind…
Nioh stayed by the balcony. It seemed to be his favourite place these days. It was Kaho's birthday and he was there with everyone else to celebrate it. However, he was not in the mood to celebrate. He spent a few hours with them as they danced, cut the cake, and shared the gifts. After that, he had quietly withdrawn to the balcony where he could be alone with his cigarette.
He knew he shouldn’t have called her to ask her to help him with Kaho's gift, but that was the first number he had dialed and however badly he wanted to admit that he was alright with letting her go, he was still not ready to do so.
He was deep in thought when he finally felt a hand on his arm. He turned to see Kaho standing there with a pashmina around her shoulder. "You're not cold?" she asked him quietly, leaning on the balcony as well.
He turned and leaned his back against it. "I'm fine," he said, blowing smoke into the sky. "I'm fine."
She turned to him and raised her eyebrow. "It sounds more like you are trying to convince yourself that you are." She looked up at the sky as well. "I never realized you loved her so much, Masaharu."
"Che…" he muttered, sliding down and sitting on the floor. "I told myself I'd never like someone again." He looked down. "I almost did something stupid as well." He let out a sigh, recalling that he had almost kissed her unintentionally. "I need… I need to stop thinking about her." He rubbed his hand across his face and closed his eyes. He pulled out another cigarette, but Kaho pulled it away from his mouth and sat down next to him. She placed her head on his shoulder. "You just have to be patient, little brother."
"I'm older than you," he mumbled, but he put his arm around her. "Is it wrong of me to wish they would never get together?"
Kaho didn’t say anything.
~~~
In the evening, I received a call from . She was asking about and I told her that he was alright. I felt there was something else she wanted to say, but I didn’t really give her the chance to say it. I was home packing an overnight because I was staying with . Atobe had arranged to put him in a suite and told me to stay with him. It was not like I needed his consent on the matter… I had planned on staying anyway.
I picked up my overnight bag and walked to my door after switching the lights off. I went to the elevator when the doors opened and Yuushi walked out. I stopped and looked at him. He looked at me as well. However, I was too angry with him, so I simply sidestepped him and walked into the elevator. "I'll talk to you later," I said, pressing the ground floor button.
He placed his foot in just as the door closed. "Why do you and I always have issues by the elevator?" he demanded, walking back in. "You owe me an apology, damnit! That hurt!"
I stared at him and narrowed my eyes. "I am not apologizing to you. You deserved it." I crossed my arms.
We both glared at each other and then somehow as we descended, we calmed down. "Where are you going?" he finally asked, walking with me to the door.
I wanted to ignore him, but I realized that he wasn’t really at fault and I was partially to blame for slapping him. "I'm going to spend the night with . Atobe's arranged it and I don’t want to leave my baby alone."
" ?”
"Don’t you dare say anything with Atobe's name in it or I will slap you again," I threatened. "I just can't tolerate this kind of talk at the moment. My only concern now is my baby boy." I walked out. "Now, do you want to come with me or not?" As I said that, my stomach let out a rather annoying growl. I immediately hugged myself, embarrassed.
Yuushi smirked. "How about I feed you first and then we go see ?" he suggested casually. "Also, Atobe is joining us. I was actually supposed to meet him for dinner."